Back

I held you in my arms last night
I’d forgotten what it’s like
Your soft and tender warmth
and the smell of your hair as I told you it’d be all right

You smiled, and we sang that song we both loved,
long into the night

Too bad it was just a fucking dream


You’ve been gone for a long damn time
and I’ve been stressin and streesin
trying to dig out of every hole I make and
so far I’ve done nothing but fall flat on to my face and

I’m trying to fall asleep
but my thoughts are racing and my heart is pounding
I
can’t help but think,
that I’m seconds away from losing it all so
I’ll take another pill
and we’ll tell eachother stories about somewhere far away

I’ve been trying to reach a place where I can finally call myself happy
but every horizon I see gets covered by the clouds
every habit is hard to brake
I get stuck in my cycles, repeating every lesson and I
try to make them stick
but every turn around the wheel I have to remember that it doesn’t exist
(I wonder if they’ll fire me from this one too)

I’m trying to fall asleep
but my thoughts are racing and my heart is pounding
I
can’t help but think,
that I’m seconds away from losing it all,  so
I’ll take another pill
and we’ll tell eachother stories about somewhere far away

They always say that they care about me
but somehow I always think they lie
I can’t feel their love
(Sometimes I can barely feel anything)
so I just wonder and wonder and
loop myself into this place where I’m with them and yet I feel alone with
all of my walls and nailed up doorways
I
guess I just have to keep tearing off the wood every time I put it back
Until someday someway someone will finally touch my heart
And I’ll be fucking understood
By someone who doesn’t live inside my brain so

I’m trying to fall asleep
But-  I’ve really fucked it up this time
between my swiftly dwindling bank account
and their growing dissatisfaction
I
wonder which one will kill me quicker
when I’m out dying on the streets so
rip out my blackened heart
and feed it to the ones I love
so they can taste the ways I fear I’ll hurt them
(and they ways I fear I have)


so


I’ll try and fall asleep
slow my breathing and, rest my heart
I’ll take another pill
and we’ll tell eachother stories about lives that could have been
(Tell me baby,
where are you tonight?)





(and what color is your hair?)